sunshine & saltwater

"The cure for anything is saltwater: sweat, tears or the sea." Isak Dinesen

Sitting here in the sunshine with my mother listening to the waves crash, there is no doubt in my mind that this trip has been the best therapy for her yet.

 Thanks to the help of family and friends we have brought my momma back home to Oxnard, California. We are renting a beautiful house right on the beach that my mom grew up on. This house is more beautiful than we could ever imagined. The sand is our front yard, and the entire ocean-side of the house is made of huge sliding glass windows. My mother can literally lay in bed and bask in the sunshine. But most importantly is has been so good for my mother to be so near her family and old friends.

Mom has even had that chance to take a "walk" on the beach. A good friend of my mother's brought over a wagon equipped with huge, sand friendly wheels. Its been so amazing to be able to "walk" on the beach with my mother.

Besides relaxing, and enjoying the beach, we have been trying new things to help my mother. We have reached a point where we are willing to try almost anything. We are still hoping for our miracle, but for now we just want to do what we can to make her more comfortable. 

We took a trip down to Santa Monica to try Qi gong with Master Zhou Ting-Jue, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Master-Zhou-Ting-Jue/145611078842833.  Qi gong is a system of healing and energy medicine from China. It is the art and science of using breathing techniques, gentle movement, and meditation to cleanse, strengthen, and circulate the life energy (qi). Qi gong practice is said to lead to better health and vitality and to a tranquil state of mind. In the past, qigong was also called nei gong (inner work) and dao yin (guiding energy). Mast Zhou generates heat with his hands, and mom said they got so hot it felt as if he was holding a curling iron to her skin. Mom felt relaxed, but drained after her massage. And strangely enough, she felt very hungry afterwards which hasn't happened in months. 

Next we tried acupuncture, which just wiped mom out. We decided that may not be something we want to try again. 

Then met with Dr. Johanna Zee to discuss ways to help mom using a more natural and holistic approach. Loved her! She had a lot of great and relevant information for us. Meeting with her really raised our spirits and we look forward to working with her more very soon. 

My mother's family also brought over a man who heals through prayer. He was a very nice man, and brought a lot of comfort and hope to my mother and her family. He had many, many stories of miracles he brought about, or prayed about in the past. We are still waiting for our miracle, but have not lost hope. 

Our next attempt is going to be through using stem cells. I don't know exactly what that entails at this moment, but I'll be sure to update when I have more information. 

At this point we are in contact with a doctor that Danny's cousin uses to treat her rheumatoid arthritis. Although he has not worked with an ALS patient he has worked with many other neuromuscular diseases, and had success.  Like I said before, I'm not yet up to speed with the exact details, but this Dr. uses stem cells from the patients own body and he believes he can really help my mother.

So next weekend we are heading up to Vegas to give it a try. Please keep my mother is you thoughts during this, as it does have its risks. 

And in other news... let me just give you a quick update, which I know many of you have asked for, about how my mom is doing. 

Well as you probably know if you are reading this, my mom had a PEG, or feeding tube put in about a month ago. The hospital prescribed a formula for us to use but we soon found that this was making her extremely nauseous and gave her horrible headaches. We did our research, talked to a few doctors/nutritionist and decided to blend our own foods for her feedings. As soon as we stop using the formula she instantly felt better. 

So now we blend all of her "meals" and work to keep her as nutritionally balanced as possible. Although she has not gained anymore wait she does feel better and seems to be maintaining her current weight. (about 6 months ago my mother would have killed me for blogging about her weight, haha)

We seem to have not yet found our plateau with this disease. She continues to get weaker and weaker. Now even a simple walk to the bathroom is completely exhausting. Daily tasks are very difficult, she compared picking up her toothbrush to picking up a 10 pound weight. Breathing is becoming much more difficult. And she has gotten much more aquatinted with her Ipad speaking ap, as speaking is increasingly difficult. 

Although we may not be able to bring back the things she misses most: eating, dancing, running, wearing heels, and kissing our cheeks; we hope that with stem cell therapy we can at least help to make a few of life's simple things a little more easy for my mother. 

I'll be sure to update as soon as we know more about the stem cell process. 

Much love from California!!

Gracias. Grazie. Danke. Merci.

I speak on behalf of my family when I say we are completely overwhelmed; overwhelmed by the love, support, kindness, and generosity of our friends, family, and community.  It truly is hard to find the words to properly express our gratitude. All I can say is that what everyone has done for my family has brought so much sunshine into our lives, quite literally.

Thank you to everyone who brought us dinners, cookies, desserts, etc. You kept our tummies and our hearts full.

To all the wonderful people who came out to my art show, thanks for making it such a wonderful, fun, and memorable event. I had so much fun, and I know my mother did as well. Hope you all enjoy your colorful pieces of art, and may they always remind you of my mother and her bright spirit.

Sharon Tyler, thanks for the daily cards you send my mother. They always bring a smile to her face!

Thank you to the amazing ladies who held the fundraiser dinner and auction at Bon Vinos. Although I missed this one, I heard it was a blast! A great group of people who love my mother!! All of your hard work and great ideas are very much appreciated!

My mother's dearest California friends, I have known most of you since I was in my momma's belly, and I've always known that you know how to have fun! "Pink Ladies" thanks for putting on such a fantastic benefit for my mom! It was so beautiful and so Loni! Dancing with my mom is a memory we will all forever cherish. The love for my mom filled the room, it was so beautiful. Thank you Renee for everything you did to make this event happen, we love you!

Thank you to the mystery santa that left my entire family gifts on our front porch! I wish I knew who you were so I could thank you in person. What a wonderful surprise!

A very, very special thanks to the families that have been so loving to my sister Chloe. Thank you for the sleepovers when the rest of the family heads over the mountains for doctors visits, and thank you for the unconditional love and support you have given to her. I love her so much, and knowing that so many people are there to love and support her means the world to my mother and me.

And last, but definitely not least, a huge thanks to everyone who help to get us where we are right now! Thank you Aunt Karen, Sue and Jim for helping us live in this beautiful beach house for a few weeks. It is exactly what mom needed. The day before we left there seem to be an endless stream of cards and well wishes coming through our door, thank you for everything.

The moment my mom was diagnosed with ALS, she said that the only place she wanted to be was on the beach surround by the people she loves and that is exactly what you have given her. My mom has had a smile on her face since we arrived. She has fallen asleep to the sound of the waves crashing on the beach and she has slept peacefully through every night, which hasn't happened in months. Her mother, family and oldest friends have been by her side since we arrived. Thanks for bringing my momma home; this is the best gift anyone could have given her.

Your friendship and love is all we could ask for. Its not those who dance with you in the sunshine but those who comfort you in the storm that really matter. Thank you!

"The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend," Henry David Thoreau.

My new adventure.

Well, I'm back to this blogging business.

I could fill a dozen posts telling you all about the beaches and mangoes of the Philippines, and a dozen more wrapping up my last few months in Korea, but life has sent me on a whole new adventure.

Although this new adventure sent me straight home, it has many similarities to traveling a foreign land. Everyday is full of unexpected challenges. I'm learning a new language full of prescription names and medical jargon. Everyday I try to find my way, and somedays I just feel completely lost.

My life today now revolves around dealing with my mom's illness.

I have decided to write about this because few people are familiar with this disease and maybe just telling those I know, raising a tiny amount of awareness, will mean something in the end. If all else fails maybe it will just help to remind people how fragile life really is.

A few months ago my mother was diagnosed with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrigs disease.

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis is a disorder of the the motor neurons, or nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord that control the action of voluntary muscles. Any muscle that you have to think, or send a signal from your brain, to control is affected. For example your legs, arms, and lungs. For unknown reasons, in ALS these motor neurons die, and the muscles they control no longer function, and gradually become paralyzed. For the most part, ALS doesn't affect automatic body systems like the heart, digestion, temperature, etc. The senses, touch, hearing, vision, and smell, are largely unaffected. Intellect and mental cognition usually aren't affected as well.

Each case of ALS is unique. ALS has no predictable pattern.

There is no known cause or cure.

Some people have a slow progression of symptoms, while others experience a rapid loss of ability. Sometimes there's a big loss followed by a plateau. Since her diagnoses in September my mother has progressed at a rate more rapid then we could have ever thought, and now we are praying every day for the plateau.

As a caregiver and most importantly as a daughter of a beautiful woman fighting everyday against ALS,    my life is not easy and I definitely never pictured myself in this situation. But I am so very grateful that I was at a place in my life where I could drop everything, and be here, in this life. Also, I am extremely grateful for the endless love, support and generosity of friends, family and strangers.

Life is hard, but life is beautiful.

Pilipinas pt. 2: SAGADA Ho La La

*(Originally written in July, but never posted.)*

Sunday afternoon our bus finally rolled into the lovely mountain village of Sagada, in the Northern Mountain province of the Philippines. We were more than happy to get off the bus after several hours of teeth clenching, unpaved, winding mountain roads. It was the off season so we had no problem finding a room. We stayed at a cozy little place called St. Joseph's. It felt like a log cabin, set in the middle of a garden with many beautiful, colorful flowers. We put down our packs and headed down to the town's main building, which housed the post office, court house, gift shops, and tourist information. We registered ourselves and got a guide for the next two days.

The garden in front of St. Joe's

Since it was already getting to be late afternoon we chose to go to the caves first. There were two options for the caves. One was just a big cave that you could hike around in and swim in, and the other was an underground connection that would take several hours. Because of the recent typhoon and our time constraints we decided to go to the big cave. And to be honest I'm not sure how much I liked the idea of being underground for several hrs, caves freak me out a bit.

We met our guide, and very mellow guy around our age named Mordon. He carried a rusty old lantern in one hand and a rainbow umbrella in the other. He didn't say too much, just pointed out things every now and then, like a group of laughing old men, who "love the happy smoke." He laughed and patiently anwsered our random, rambling questions, and said we were funny and that he liked us. We stopped at a little shop, that looked more like the front of someone's house, where Mordon bought some propane for his lantern. The women at the shop said we were crazy for going to the cave with so much recent rain, "slippery and dangerous." Great.

The cave was so much more than what I had expected. My past experience with caves wasn't much more than the neon, LED lit caves of Korea, or Boulder Cave in Washington. This cave had no marked trail and was only lit by Mordon's lantern, which occasionally would go out leaving us standing in pitch black hoping he could get it lit asap. It was very exciting. We couldn't see more than a few in front of us, and the complete darkness gave the illusion that we were about to step off a giant cliff. It was incredibly slippery. Somehow our guide managed not to slip, not even a little, the entire time even though he was only wearing a pair of old flip flops. Every time I would slip he would laugh, and make a snarky comment, "nice try" or his favorite "ho la la la." He loved my reaction when I realized that every time I grabbed a rock to catch myself I stuck my hand in guano.

Emerging from the cave

We climbed and stumbled down into the cave for about 15 mins, until we reached a spot where Mordon said we should take off our shoes and leave our bags. We were a little confused, "wait, what? leave our backpacks, and take off our shoes? but? why?" He just laughed and told us we could trust him. Ok, yeah I have only known you for about an hour but sure, whatever. We followed his instructions and slipped off our shoes and socks and reluctantly left our bags, hoping it would all be there when we returned. I am so happy we listened to him! It was the coolest thing ever. The cave at this point went steeply down, there was water running over the top, and the rock was green and very slick looking. "oh god I am going to slip and fall down this into the dark!" But as soon as I stepped onto the rock, my feet stuck to it! It was the coolest feeling. Not sure what Mordon called it, but it was a special type of rock that doesn't not become slippery. The closet thing I could relate it to is the material that a track is made of of, but a little harder. So we climbed up and down, and around for a while, even using ropes at the steepest inclines. And so we came to a waterfall and a pool/river where you can jump in. But because of the recent Typhoon the water was higher, the current stronger than usual. And when Mordon said that he wouldn't do it, and he usually does it every time, we decided against it.

We emerged from the cave soaking went and covered in mud, or maybe guano? So we decided the first stop would be to shower. The rest of our evening wasn't too eventful. We spent a little while at a local coffee shop, got dinner, and hung out at the local little bar. It was a very cozy little bar, covered in Bob Marley posters and such. It was cheesy, but very fitting for this laid back little mountain village, that loves the "happy smoke." We met a few fellow travelers and had some interesting conversations. One very random thing about Sagada is the "curfew." Im still not too sure what the rules of curfew are, but from what I understood its mainly for the children. Also, the whole town shuts down, so you need to choose where you want to be before 9 p.m.. yes 9 p.m. The bar we were in push a heavy rock in front of the door to keep people from coming in.

Bright and early monday morning we headed down to Yoghurt House. If you ever end up in Sagada you have to eat here!!! The yoghurt here is homemade and served with fresh fruit and granola, its pretty amazing! The coffee is also great and you can enjoy it all on a balcony that overlooks the only road that runs through Sagada and the jungles that surround the town. It was delicious and the perfect breakfast before a hiking.

After breakfast we met up for round two of Mordon adventures.  We decided that we would start our day trekking through the rice terraces, through a village and to a waterfall. Soon we were climbing in the back of a jeep of a friends of Mordon's. 

The rice terraces were breath taking. So green, and so beautiful. We followed Mordon down through the terraces, carefully trying not to fall of the narrow, concrete, edge we were walking on. While walking and taking in the amazing beauty, Mordon pulled out his MP3 and started to play Sheryl Crow, nothing like walking through one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen listening to Sheryl Crow, hahaha. 

 We trekked down through a little village, past men harvesting rice and mining gold. At the bottom we came to a beautiful waterfall. We wanted to swim, but like the caves it was much stronger and larger from the typhoon. So we just waded in, it was still like being inside a washing machine.

Pilipinas pt. 1: Up Up and Away

For the first part of our trip we headed to the Northern Mountain Province, more specifically Sagada. Getting there though proved to be an adventure itself.

Step one: get the heck out of Manila

Ok, ok in all fairness all that I really saw of Manila was through a bus and taxi window, and maybe there are some hidden gems. However, Manila gave me a very unsettling feeling and I really just wanted to leave.  Lucy and I made it through customs, and headed to information to get directions to the taxis. I has spoken  to the man at the desk for only a few seconds when he asked me who my travel companion was. When I pointed to Lucy he immediately got a very concerned fatherly look and tone of voice. He gave us very detailed information on how to get to the taxis and to the bus station, and kept repeating "be safe, please be careful." What a welcoming to Manila! In all honesty I never felt totally unsafe, just a little on edge. We made it to the bus station without a hitch. And the highlight of my first taxi ride in Manila was seeing a Seattle Sonics Jeepney. 

Jeepneys are one of the many interesting and at times hilarious modes of transport in the Philippines. They were originally made from US military jeeps left over from World War II. Its basically a jeep in the front with an extended truck bed, enclosed with a metal roof and elaborately decorated with colorful paint and ornaments.  You can sit on of the two bench seats that run along the inside, or on the side, or on the back, or if you are feeling adventurous you can even ride on top. 

Step 2: rainy, flooded ride to Baguio 

We bought our tickets, some snacks and boarded the bus for a 7 hour ride to Baguio. The ride was made especially interesting by the fact the we arrived the day after a typhoon hit the area. For about 80% of the trip we drove along roads that were flooded with almost a foot or more of water. 

Unfortunately we didn't have time to explore Baguio. We arrived late Saturday night, were completely exhausted, and went straight to a hotel. The next bus adventure began at 6 am Sunday morning. We grabbed a quick breakfast at the bus station, eggs, toast and something resembling ham, and bought our tickets. 

Step 3: nerve racking jungle journey from Baguio to Sagada

We were the first to buy our tickets, so we had seats 1 and 2. We soon found out that these were the best seats we could have gotten! The bus we were on had the door in the middle instead of in the front. So seats 1 and 2 were right behind the giant front windshield. Our bus ride from Baguio to Sagada was 6 hours straight up a, sometimes paved, winding mountain road through the Jungle. With our front row seats our entire trip was like watching the Jungle on IMAX. It was so unbelievably beautiful. At times were were so close to the edge that when you looked out the side window you couldn't even see the road, just steep green cliffs, and a huge raging river. It was still raining and sopping wet from the recent typhoon. There were many times that we drove over recent landslides or had to wait for new ones to be cleared. I took a really sweet video, but unfortunately my camera didn't make it back to Korea with me. Here are some pictures of the bus from Baguio to Sagada:

Sunday afternoon our bus finally rolled into Sagada............

Pilipinas: Intro

I just returned from what just might be the most amazing trip of my life. I know, I know that is a very bold statement, but in all seriousness it was beyond amazing. So great in fact, I don't think it can be contained in just a single post. So welcome to the Pilipinas mini series!

My good friend Lucy and I both had a week of freedom from our little monsters so we decided to explore the Philippines. It was a tough choice given that SE Asia, and really Asia in general has so many interesting places to visit. But for some reason I felt the Philippines calling my name and before long Lucy was hearing it too!

The only problem we found was the it had too many interesting things to see, could we possibly see it all? We knew 2 things, we wanted to be in the city of Manila for as little time as possible and we wanted to see both the Northern Mtn Province and the Southern beaches. This took quiet a bit of planning, research and patience, but we were able to see all we wanted and more. We think that if all else fails we would make some damn good travel agents.

Beach Bum Busan

*** this post was actually written a few weeks ago, but I never posted it. So here it is now:


It's monday morning I am exhausted, sunburned, and mosquito-bitten. All signs of an amazing weekend!

This weekend we found ourselves soaking up the sunshine on the beach in sunny Busan, South Korea. We boarded an early a.m. KTX train from Seoul. (my first time taking the super fast KTX train) We arrived in Busan and headed straight to the beach. It was the perfect break after an uber stressful week.

We opted out of visiting the most popular beach, Haeundae, and chose instead to go to Gwangalli Beach. It was a really nice day. We laid on the beach, read and chatted. Nothing overly exciting, but lovely nonetheless. The beach itself was not particularly pretty. The water was very murky, and kind of an odd color. We swam around a bit, but quickly learned you are not allowed to go out past where you can touch.

Later in the afternoon I happened to run into a friend that I have not seen since training 6 months ago! He was also just visiting for the weekend and happen to be with a friend who also graduated from WSU with a degree in advertising, just a year after me. The world really is very small. This has happened so many times!

After a lazy day of basking in the sun we decided to wander and find some dinner. Busan, like all Korean beach towns, is know for its seafood. We choose to have dinner in one of the many food tents that lined the streets surrounding the fish market. This market was a smaller version of Norangjin that I mentioned in a previous post. One thing that I have learned about Koreans and food is that they either like things incredibly fresh or extremely old. For example most meals are brought to you raw and you cook it yourself, which I think is great, and you will also have a ton of side dishes of foods that have been stored for years: kimchi, fermented bean paste, etc. Fish markets are the perfect example of this. You chose your fish, and few minutes later its on a plate in front of you. We at clams, clams with cheese ( a little strange) and eel. It was a very cool experience.

After dinner we headed down to the boardwalk, well I guess that's what you can call it. It was a large concrete and tile area where several families and groups of friends were hanging out on the stairs that ran along the edge of the harbor. Many korean parents were drinking soju and playing games while the children set off fireworks. Groups of young Koreans were playing drinking games. And a few vendors were walking around try to sell oysters and clams. It was a very lively and fun area. We sat down at the bottom of the stairs and following the groups around us played some games and watched the fireworks.

We woke up to a rainy Sunday and decided to see what else Busan had to offer besides the beach. Josh had heard of a coastal temple that was a little out of the way. After a long and hot hot hot bus ride we arrived at Haedong Yonggung temple. It was one of the most beautiful temples I have been to. Its a bit of a trek there, but oh so worth it. Its a gorgeous temple right on the coast.